How to Drink Wine by a 6-year old

Posted on January 19, 2013

All I ever needed to know about how to drink wine I learned in kindergarten.  As many of you know, I try to make wine fun and easy to understand.  Wine is super complex and wrapping your head around it is frustrating.  As adults we have a knack of making things more difficult.  I am not sure what is the psychological reasoning behind this statement, but I know it is true.  My children are in preschool and first grade.  Each and every day I learn something new.  Sometimes I learn something I already knew but in a new way.

I am not sure if I inspire them or if they just copy Sponge Bob.  For sometime now, they have played restaurant.  Each of them have their own restaurants.  My daughter played along with my son’s ideas and created her own restaurant, Cold-y.  Of course they serve cold spaghetti and cold soups.  My son, the instigator, started his restaurant long before.  He called his restaurant the Hot Pumpkin.  As one would guess, he serves pumpkins, right?  Nope.  At  the Hot Pumpkin he serves Hot Dogs.  It only makes sense.

hotpumpkin copy

My son has gone on to create elaborate menus, recipes, signs and training manuals for the staff.  He has even gone so far as to create a competing restaurant, and it is not Cold-y.  The Free Pumpkin is his rival which only makes perfect sense.  He hates beans, frijoles.  The Free Pumpkin serves frijoles and is his mortal competitor.

This has been going on for months.  Everyday when he wakes up he goes to the front door and turns the sign hanging on the door handle to “Open”.  When he goes to bed, he turns the sign to “Closed”.  This morning I was looking through the menus he has plastered all over the windows and walls of the house and noticed that not only does he serve water and juice, but also wine.  This did not come from Sponge Bob!  Glad to know I still matter.

wine menu on window

I curiously asked him, “how do you drink wine?”  He went on and began to explain by writing a “How to Book” on how to drink wine.  Just like his 10 item secret recipe for his hot dogs he began to write his 10 steps on how to drink wine.  Once again I re-learned something I knew in a way that makes perfect sense.  Wow, it is that easy!  All this time I am I have done it wrong.  I have wasted money on finding the perfect wine glass.  I have wasted time swirling it and analyzing it.  I have forgotten to say AHHH!  Worst of all, I have forgotten step number 10 way too many times.

Well here it is!  How to drink wine via a 6-year-old.  Simple, straightforward and gratifying.

how to drink wine



  1. Maurice

    Later that night I went to a wine tasting party where people brought in a Chilean Red and blind tasted it. The idea was to see who’s wine would win by receiving the most votes. The winner then picks the category for the next party.

    All the time I was thinking, they are all doing it wrong! No Ice cubes, no straw, no cups and at the end of the tasting they forgot to open another bottle! 🙂

  2. Rayona

    I love it. Actually, I love things that just make “sense” and this gets my vote. As you so honestly stated, every day I learn something from my 4 1/2 year old. Thanks for this – I teach wine appreciation classes and I think I just made out my next lesson plan! Made me smile. Cheers!

  3. Jeff & Ieszic

    Maurice, this is a hoot. thanks for sharing and for your friendship everytime we come into Island Prime. Much appreciated all around.

    • Maurice

      Thanks guys, you are both awesome! I still remember the first time we met over a bottle of Tikal. Cheers!

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